well well well i waited basically til about 11pm to go out and meet with some friends. Once my friends were finally done with the fight thats where everything got pretty funny.
It was great seeing a long time friend Brian that just came into town from California. Well we started off the night at Fox and Hound my night sucked because I was the DD but hey its better to be safe than drive drunk! Dont EVER Drive DRUNK!!!!
Well we had a good time just talking and ish. Then my buddy ex roommate scott came over and he was already intoxicated and was just having a great time. He brought a new life to the table and the "party." he was trying to talk to a friend of ours by saying, "hey". I told him if he wants her attention call her a "trick" (as a joke of course) he was drunk so he goes hey TRICK she immediately turns and looks at him, his eyes looked like a deer in headlights, it was priceless. well we got done with fox and hound after about 3 hours and 9 drinks later. The funny stuff starts.
While we are on our way to Billys Long Bar, somehow the philopian (spelling?) tubes of woman came up. Scotts theory was that once the guy ejaculates seamen the philopian tubes just run out and grab the seamen and then produce a kid. It was simple as that! He talked about this theory for about 10 minutes all the way over to Billys. It was rather hilarious that he thought that is how an actual baby was created. (After this blog I will be emailing him the real way babies are created, so he doesn't mess it up when its time to give the "Birds and the bee's" talk).
well we get to Billy's and they order more drinks, its scotts turn to buy drinks he can't hardly speak so the bartender says, "are you sure you even need a drink? your having a hard time even talking!" Scott says ya he wants 6 Jager Bombs and 3 Corona's. Thats a lot for only 3 people drinking, then he bought the two girls a shot and a drink. His tab was about 70 bucks on just his round. anyways they all slam their shots and just hang out. Scott gets cut off immediately after that. He was so bad he couldn't even buy cigarettes! so he convienced Jimmy to go to the bar and buy cigs for him. Well Jimmy comes back with Scotts cigarettes and Scott try's to go outside. He makes it! Its nice and quiet and we are all having a good convo. Well Scott comes back into the bar and tells one of our girl friends lets kiss. She was taken back and says what the heck lets do it. (it was just a little peck, nothing actually worth saying i made out with her). Well the two girls get a great idea that they should do a three way kiss with scott, scott is taken back but agrees. (i mean what guy wouldn't). so he goes in for the three way kiss it lasted about 3 seconds (no toungue or anything just pecks). and he keeps on going in the girls back away and scott lands flat on his face. It was priceless, brian tried grabbing his arm, jimmy's just laughing, i have the camera on and can't stop laughing. (good thing we know the manager we didn't get kicked out right away.)
so we left the bar and this is where Jimmy's drunkeness finally comes out. we were driving and someone how seamen came back up again. Jimmy had this thought that if your in the arctic or the beach your seamen is the same temperature. He is a firm believer that if your in the predicament of having sexual activity in the middle of the arctic friction will keep the seamen at the same temperature as your body. (i need to google this to make sure he isn't right!) but he is fully convienced that he is a genius at this point, he tells me to shush and go on with his ideas. He them proceeds to tell me and scott (who is almost passed out in the back) that he is no longer and regular human activitiy level. He just went to Jimmy intelligence! I asked him to explain that but he said that will come on another day! we drop scott off he stumbles to his house, can't find the correct key and we wait in the car for about 4 minutes until he gets into his house.
Well we drive home Jimmy is still trying to explain how theres a Jimmy Level of intelligence rather than just a normal person of intelligence. We get home I crack open a beer, my first one of the night comes at 2:20 in the AM! and turn on the big bang theory. Jimmy is drunk and opens a beer and sits down, he puts the chair up and says all he see's is double. (in my head im thinking thats the level of jimmy intelligence, drunk and seeing double to make everything correct!) but he didn't say anything. He tried to get up out of his chair about 3 times equal success rate as failure. Finally he gets up and so do I and i go to bed.
Being sober on a night where everyone around you is drinking, its rather entertaining. I mean it was well worth it for me to not be drunk because I knew that two of my close friends would be getting a safe ride home!
I think i will be blogging about two times a day now. One in the morning and one after work or mid night. and the stories i have will get funnier and funnier i promise! this is just what happened last night!
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